When Home Is Not Home

There’s No Place Like Home……

Too bad it can be hard to find.

So we decided to move to the east side. That means nothing to anyone outside of our neighborhood, but it is huge for us. At first I figured we had just outgrown our neighborhood. Then I thought maybe it was the hipsters annoying me.  But after more thought on the matter, this just wasn’t home. And I didn’t see it ever becoming home. And it really wasn’t kid friendly.

It began when we first moved in. Living on a corner next to a busy street, close to downtown brings a certain type of interaction. People were constantly milling about in our yard. It got to the point I could not be in our yard with the kids for two minutes, without someone asking me for money. I don’t mean every now and then. I mean 10+ times a day, any time I was outside. In my own yard. It is disconcerting when strange people just walk into your yard and make requests.

Then there are the coffee shop drones.  They are too lazy to throw their cups away in the trash inside the shop, so they toss the cups  in our yard. And beer bottles. And lots of Pabst Blue Ribbon cans.

Then there are the people who walk up and put their entire week’s trash in our bin. In summer it was so bad we couldn’t even put our own trash in our bin. We are not paying $150 per month for trash service for all of the unemployed yoga junkies in the neighborhood.

So we paid big bucks for a six foot wood fence.  This stopped people from napping in our yard. It did not stop them from littering and throwing beer bottles over the fence nearly clocking my kids in the head. It did not stop high people from opening the gate and trying to bang through the back door at 3 am. And it didn’t stop pretty boys in skinny jeans from peeing on the fence. Or from pooping right on the retaining wall which is a whole other story.

Honestly, I was really starting to hate our neighborhood. The ‘sticking it to the man’ culture here apparently meant being an overall awful person contributing nothing to society. It was enough to make this bleeding heart liberal second guess her beliefs.




The crime in this area has always been bad, one of the worst in the country. After looking at stats, I really should have been a violent crime victim multiple times by now, considering I walk to and from the gym and everywhere else. We even had a friend mugged right in our driveway in broad daylight. While I have been approached hundreds of times, my angry-don’t-mess-with-me vibe seems to actually be helpful for the first time in my life.

Add all of these neighborhood considerations together and the choice to sell the house seems obvious. But it isn’t just that. This is a money pit. A huge 1890’s Victorian house sounds like a swell idea. And it is if you have no kids, no pets, and lots of time and money to put into restorations, renovations, and even basic upkeep.
The space is dysfunctional for us. The rooms are huge, but with no closets, no cabinets and no storage, the space is wasted. And we just have a bunch of clutter. We could put up walls and build closets, but the repairs and mortgage prevent us from ever having the money for these things.

So what I really, really want, is a smaller house with smaller rooms, more closets, and the ability to finish the basement. And if it is a modest 1940’s fixer upper, then great. I can try to develop my DIY skills. If I ruin the ugliness, at least we could actually afford to then outsource the project.
So that is the plan. We just need to work out the timing of buying and selling at the exact same time. Luckily, in our local housing market, our current house will sell in a day just like last year. However,  that also means we will have to scramble with buying as well. Is it crazy to sell our home to buy a smaller one when I am pregnant with a third kid and already stressed? Yep! But it will be an adventure and I am kind of looking forward to it. It will be far better for our kids.

Do you ever find yourself making a decision that is financially, a ridiculous idea for the present, but could really make a great future for your family? I am so very anti-risk, but I also know it would be so much better for our kids and our marriage to move right now.

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2 thoughts on “When Home Is Not Home”

  1. Wow… that’s some pretty insane crap you had to put up with at your home. Or should I say “house” as it doesn’t really sound like your home anymore? I completely understand how you feel, although we aren’t living in a situation with nearly as much outside/neighborhood influence as you are. Sounds like a move will be great for your family and I hope it all works out. And if it makes you feel any less nuts, I’m six months pregnant and we’re starting the process of looking for a new home. (And we’ll hopefully be able to move shortly before baby arrives.) Some days I truly think I’m crazy, but you have to do what’s best for you and your loved ones, right?

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