You know the scene. It has been done hundreds of times by sitcoms, greetings cards, commercials, magazines and as email memes for at least the past 15 years. A hard working father comes home to his house being in shambles to see the mom sitting on the couch reading or having a cup of coffee.
- The kids are running around screaming.
- There are diapers overflowing from the bin.
- Toilet paper hangs from the chandelier.
- Cheerios and dirty dishes litter every horizontal surface.
- Laundry is heaped in piles all over the floor. Paper towels strewn about.
- Emptied out backpacks scattered across the entryway.
- Perhaps all of the cabinets are open and the contents flung across the room.
The husband looks at the wife and asks “What happened?”.
She says without looking up, “You know how every day when you get home you ask what it is I do all day? Well today I didn’t do it.”
I really hate this scenario joke. I always have. Whenever a show makes this joke, it is always from a program that usually has some perfect mom character who manages to keep her home absolutely immaculate despite having four kids, a sexist husband, and a handful of in-laws or annoying neighbors bugging her all week. She always seems to be married to an insensitive guy who doesn’t exert himself beyond cracking open a beer the minute he gets home. When I am away for several hours leaving the kids with my husband, and come home to the apartment looking as though it could apply for national relief, I never ask him what it is he was doing all that time. I don’t need to. I know why he didn’t have the house in pristine order. Because he is a human being and not a house servant.
But that is not why I hate the mom had a day long vacation joke. What I hate is my house looks like the after shot of the disaster nearly every day despite me running around doing chores all day. Why? Well, the toddlers basically follow behind me destroying all my progress in their wake like some sort of diapered tsunami. The only time my home EVER looks like it is not coming apart at the seams is if I have company coming over. The only way I achieve that is to place the kids in their cribs like caged animals and go on the quickest cleaning spree I can manage. And since I am not about to put the kids in their cribs for hours every day, my home will basically look like a train came through for the next 10 years. At which point it will change to an adolescent mess, but then I can make them do chores with me.
Obviously, if I gave up working, exercising, hobbies, and home cooked meals, I might have more time to strive for this unrealistically clean home, but I value being a well rounded individual too much to dedicate myself to the singular (wait, dual?) role of nanny and maid.
Real life is not a sitcom. Real people live in this home and they create real life. The closest show I could relate to would Malcolm in the Middle with their crazy kids, eccentric parents, and lack of cash flow. (Although I like to think I am not nearly as insane as that mother. (!))
I just do not have it in me to be the perfect sitcom mom with her perfect house.
Or to have a mom bob.
Plus, I don’t even own a pair of khakis and matching cardi set.
YES! Very well said!
Me too!! I wish I was more organized and clean, but it’s not my number one priority. Yes, it’s clean, but not PERFECT.
Hey clean is better than me. I think we reach “clean” for about an hour a day. haha.
There are more important things in the world than a perfect house. You enjoy those diapered tsunamis because they won’t be little long! Loved this post!
I feel your pain. I’m lucky to have a clean area last even a few minutes sometimes. I envy people who can just whip out a camera and take a picture, when I do that you can see a big mess in the background. It’s embarrassing!
Part of my problem is I have this tiny 500sq foot house and 4 kids. A place for everything and everything in it’s place doesn’t work because I don’t have room for everything to have a place! Hoping I can move to a bigger house sometime this year. Maybe then I might have a chance to designate just one room to be kid free and keep it clean?
Ugh, I understand. We lived in a 600 sq ft apartment with the kids and pets before moving to a bigger apt.It was beyond cramped.
My place is a disaster zone all the time! I would need to clean it all day everyday. The laundry is insane too. I’m finally starting to accept the chaos.
Acceptance is the first step! lol
I’m with you with this! Being a well balanced mommie far outweighs being perfect!
So glad I found your lovely blog!
thank you!
I feel better now! My house is an explosion of laundry ALL the time!!! It’s so frustrating and embarrassing when people “pop” by.
Hello! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone 3gs!
Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward
to all your posts! Carry on the great work!